Writing for The Highwayman continues. I think it has the potential to be so much more caustic than Actual Sunlight, because whereas that was about a person who largely decides that they don’t want to live anymore, this is about someone who does. Desperately.
Maybe I want to live desperately. I guess Actual Sunlight is about wanting to live, even if it something has happened to that desire.
Chronic, debilitating pain is a harder subject than depression. The latter has a lot of traction in popular culture, and a certain halo of artistic romance still surrounds it. But what do we really know about people who are in too much perpetual discomfort to really do anything? How can a way of appreciating what they go through be achieved? How can an interactive medium augment that?
I don’t know if I’m really concerned with all that, to tell you the truth. All I know is that despite my back feeling better than it did a few weeks ago, I also feel strongly that there has been some kind of permanent change.
It’s a whole new way of feeling alive and yet knowing that I may not really be alive at all.
Like, this could be it. From here it could be on to serious drugs and being fucked up all the time and just waiting for the world to implode.
But this story I’m doing is sort of, I guess, the opposite of that. I’m trying to do something bittersweet – something about someone who gets what they want, at least for a little while, even though it costs them a lot.
If my last game was a portrait, maybe you would call this one a wish.
But there is really going to be nobody interested in this. No gamers to sympathize with Evan’s character, no mental health hook for the media, etc.
But it’s what I really want to do. And I’m doing it. And a lot of the writing for it so far is pretty great.